Soldier killed in Afghanistan blast

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Breaking Up A New Relationship After Communication Breaks Down

New relationships begin with so much promise that, in the early days, it?s hard to imagine that a few weeks or months down the line, there will be such misunderstanding that the relationship looks as if it?s destined for the rocks. However, this is the story of so many relationships that begin on a great footing but reach a road block that leaves each person standing at the crossroads wondering if they are destined for each other or are best to go in different directions.

The reality is that headiness of the early days of any relationship has a time limit on them and if you can weather the changes, it can change for the better. But it does involve high levels of communication ? with yourself to understand the strong emotions that usually accompany these challenges, and with the other person who themselves comes with their own story of what to expect.

Disagreements or fights usually arise because of differences in values, beliefs and expectations. When a couple meet and start the dating process, the mood is light, exciting and full of possibilities of where this might go. However, any challenge to the story we inevitably begin to tell ourselves about the other person and what relationships should be like, gives rise to doubts and fears. This is where a high level of self-awareness becomes invaluable ? hence the saying ?To really get to know yourself, you must know yourself first?.

Do you bail out at the earliest sign that the other person?s behaviour is unacceptable and tell yourself that it is surely a sign that all is not well ? or do you ask yourself and the other person some questions which might throw more light on what the other person is all about?

When emotions are high, it is often difficult to marshal y our thoughts and communicate them clearly to the other person. One thing for sure ? if your or the other person?s reaction to something seems to be way out of proportion to the threat posed, this is almost certainly a reaction to something other than the presenting problem. The presenting problem has pushed a button that gives rise to associated fears, anxieties and storytelling that accompanied the initial experience.

But what do you do now when caught in the grip of a decision of whether the disagreement is a sign that this is not the relationship for you or whether this is just a familiar path you have travelled before and it?s time to break the pattern? The answer I give all my clients is that to have great relationships you must have a great relationship with yourself first. The real work has to be done within yourself ? so time spent understanding your reactions and beliefs about the fight and relationships in general is the best investment you can make for this relationship or any other one. Write down your expectations and beliefs about relationships and how this person or the situation influences how you view what is going on? For example, if someone has an experience of people cheating on them before, it is all too easy for them to make this assumption at the slightest indication of the other person being untrustworthy.

Whatever your story, it is your job to make sense of what is happening to you now and how the past is influencing your present ? only then can you start to make changes to break your link with the pain of the past and learn effective communication skills to navigate new relationships ? without the veil of unquestioned assumptions, perceptions and stories that are often unrelated to the person standing in front of you. You may of course need some coaching or counselling help to do this but it will be the best investment you have made ? because the quality of your communication directly matches the quality of all your relationships.

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JPMorgan stops stock buybacks, maintains dividend

NEW YORK (Reuters) - JPMorgan Chase & Co CEO Jamie Dimon took another step that showed humility and caution in the wake of a stunning $2 billion loss, or more, on derivatives by announcing on Monday that the company will quit spending capital on stock buybacks.

The company will suspend for now a $15 billion share repurchase plan that Federal Reserve regulators had just approved in March after running stress tests on the bank's capital, Dimon said at an investor conference.

The move will give JPMorgan added protection against having to reduce its quarterly dividend of 30 cents a share, which Dimon said the bank will maintain. It also gives Dimon a hedge against the long-shot chance that the bank's cash payouts might equal its reported earnings in a quarter.

Dimon's latest move reflects his strategy of handling the embarrassment from the loss by trying to get ahead of criticism.

"By getting ahead of the issue, JPMorgan is reducing the pressure on Capitol Hill for more severe responses, such as cutting the dividend," said Jaret Seiberg, a senior policy analyst in Washington for Guggenheim Securities.

"The further ahead you can get, the more you can mitigate the response and I think that is what we are seeing at play," said Seiberg.

When JPMorgan disclosed the losses on May 10, Dimon called the bank's handling of the credit derivatives portfolio "stupid" and said "egregious mistakes" were made with the trades.

JPMorgan shares fell as much as 3.6 percent after Dimon began speaking as the market opened. The shares were down 3.2 percent at $32.43 in afternoon trading in New York.

Dimon normally relishes the chance to buy back shares at prices below $45, he said in early April in his annual letter to shareholders. Paying prices that are lower than what he believes is the company's true value increases the value of remaining shares held by investors, he explained. He complained last fall that regulators would not allow the bank to buy back more stock at low prices under a prior capital plan.

But without suspending the current repurchases, or booking gains on asset sales to offset the derivatives losses, JPMorgan would have run a heightened risk of paying out as much cash for shares and dividends as it reports in profits in a quarter.

That would have looked bad at a time when regulators want banks to continue building up capital to become safer.

The company has already paid out $2.1 billion this quarter,$1 billion for buybacks and $1.1 billion for dividends, according to Morgan Stanley analyst Betsy Graseck's calculations.

That would be as much as net earnings if the loss from the derivatives trade reaches $5 billion, before taxes, by end the of June, Graseck said.

Other analysts also have said the losses could reach $5 billion by year-end. Dimon has said the $2 billion in losses as of May 10 could rise another $1 billion or more.

Dimon said at Monday's conference that the bank is holding off on buybacks to make sure it stays on its planned "glide path" to reach rising capital requirements being imposed under so-called Basel 3 standards.

JPMorgan already had many ways to keep its reported profits above its payouts, Graseck said. She listed them in a report: selling assets to book gains, cutting costs, and drawing down on reserves already taken for bad loans.

Dimon said Monday the bank has made progress working down the losing trades. "We are going to wrestle the problem down," he said.

JPMorgan's stock has lost more than 20 percent, or $30 billion, of market value since the trading losses were announced.

Dimon said the bank intends to restart stock buybacks once it has replenished the lost capital. The bank is capitalized well enough to withstand the losses, analysts said. It had $190 billion of shareholder equity supporting $2.32 trillion in assets at the end of March.

The faulty portfolio was built of layers of supposedly offsetting bets with credit derivatives tied to corporate bonds, both investment grade and junk. A model for measuring risk in the portfolio was changed sometime during the first quarter. The change made the portfolio look less dangerous than it would have under an older risk model the bank had used for years.

(Reporting by David Henry and Lauren Tara LaCapra in New York and Rick Rothacker in Charlotte, North Carolina; Editing by John Wallace and Leslie Gevirtz)

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Edwards donor: I told Obama camp about affair (cbsnews)

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James Bond Has Dodged 4,662 Bullets During His Fictional Career [Factoid]

James Bond is the kind of man who gets shot at an awful lot. In fact, he's lucky to even be alive because, during his 22-film Hollywood career, the secret agent has managed to dodge a total of 4,662 bullets. More »

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Chain-Link Confidentiality: A HIPAA-Like Approach To Online Privacy

As we put more of our private information online and entrust it to web services, privacy breaches become almost inevitable. One major problem with online privacy is that there is really no?enforceable?chain of confidentiality. So when a third-party service makes your information available to another party, things can get complicated. A new paper by Samford University law professor Woodrow Harzog argues that traditional privacy laws aren't the best ways to protect private information online. Instead, he suggests an approach that more like the U.S. HIPAA rules?that currently govern how private health information can be shared between your health provider and third parties. The system he proposes would be based on established principles in?confidentiality?and contract law.

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Obamas kick off campaigning with rallies in must-win states (reuters)

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Adam Yauch Of Beastie Boys Dead At 47

Rapper has been battling cancer since 2009.
By Gil Kaufman

Adam Yauch
Photo: Mick Hutson/ Getty Images

Adam Yauch, one of the founding members of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame rap trio the Beastie Boys, died on Friday (May 4) at the age of 47 after a lengthy battle with cancer.

The news was announced on the Global Grind website, which is run by Def Jam Records co-founder Russell Simmons, the man who signed the Beasties to their first label deal. "GlobalGrind is confirming this very sad news," read the post. "One of our heroes, Adam Yauch aka MCA of the Beastie Boys has passed this morning after a long bout with cancer. Our prayers go out to the family of Adam and the entire Beastie Boys crew."

For photos of Yauch through the years, click here.

Rumors about Yauch's ongoing battle with cancer were sparked anew last month when the rapper was not present alongside fellow band members Adam Horovitz and Michael Diamond at the group's induction into the Hall of Fame
 as just the third rap group to ever achieve that honor. Yauch had been off the public scene since 2009 when he was diagnosed with cancer after a tumor was discovered on his salivary gland
.

His treatment delayed the release of the group's 2011 album, Hot Sauce Committee, Part 2
 and it had kept the normally tour-happy trio off the road for the past three years.

With his gravelly voice and laconic rapping style, Yauch stood out in the trio, whose other members tended to have faster, more nasal flows. He formed the B-Boys in 1979 while still in high school as a hardcore punk band, but their sound progressed over the years until they emerged as one of the most successful rap groups in history. After getting signed to Def Jam in 1984 they released the smash Licensed to Ill, which included such hits as "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party," "Brass Monkey," "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" and "She's Crafty."

Their next album, the psychedelic1988 release Paul's Boutique set a new high-water mark for the art of sampling and stands today as one of the finest examples of the art.

Like their label mates and friends in Run-DMC, the B-Boys excelled at seamlessly interweaving their vocals, trading off lines and verses at lightning speed. Amid the barrage of verbal gymnastics, though, Yauch's voice stood out for its world-weariness and unhurried cadence on tracks like "High Plains Drifter" and his tongue-twisting, double-time disco breaking showcase midway through the 12-minute Boutique epic, "B-Boy Bouillabaisse."

Though all three Boys emerged on the national scene with snotty, party hardy attitudes, it was Yauch who grew into the most centered and serious member of the group. In addition to playing bass, he also directed many of the group's videos under the pseudonym Nathaniel Hornblower. Rarely seen in public, Hornblower made a legendary appearance at the 1994 MTV Video Music Awards, bum rushing R.E.M. as his alter ego after they took the Best Direction award over Beastie pal Spike Jonze for his landmark work in their cop-show spoofing clip "Sabotage."

He was also instrumental in organizing a series of all-star concerts between 1996 and 2001 to raise awareness of the repression of the Tibetan people. The shows, which combined activism and music, featured sets from traditional Buddhist acts and speakers as well the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rage Against the Machine, De La Soul, Beck, Foo Fighters, U2, Radiohead, Dave Matthews Band, R.E.M. and Pearl Jam.

Yauch, a practicing Buddhist who revised some of his young and wild lyrics in concert later in life, went on to direct many more video for his band, as well as the kaleidoscopic 2006 Beasties live movie, "Awesome, I F---in' Shot That!" He also formed Oscilloscope Laboratories, a film company that distributed a number of documentaries and features, including "We Need To Talk About Kevin," "Dark Days," "Meek's Cutoff," "Beautiful Losers" and the Banksy doc "Exit Through the Gift Shop."

Share your thoughts about Adam Yauch in the comments section.

Related Photos

• The Beastie Boys' Adam 'MCA' Yauch: A Life In Photos

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• Beastie Boys

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Kevin Federline Sued For Slobbery, Back Rent

Kevin Federline has never been one for personal hygiene. Or earning potential.

A new lawsuit drives both of these points home. His former landlord claims K-Fed trashed his L.A. mansion, then screwed him out of rent money.

Joseph Malek claims Britney Spears' ex moved in to his mansion in Tarzana, Calif., in 2008, wrecked the place and peaced out without paying a dime.

After seven months, no less. Somehow not a surprising story.

Malek claims he turned the place into a cigarette-riddled, spit-stained dump, replete with broken smoke detectors and bottles littered all over the yard.

Class guy, that Kevin.

He previously claimed K-Fed caused more than $110,000 in damage to the place by merely existing there, and wants a judge to force him to pay.

Maybe he's saving up for a vasectomy?

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HTC One X Review: The Best Android Phone Right Now [Video]

HTC is bringing its A-game in a big way. The One S was good, but the screen and radio were weak links. The One X aims to fix that. It brings a bigger, more beautiful screen, and LTE connectivity. It's beautifully designed. But is it enough to eclipse the best Android phones—or even the iPhone? More »

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iControlPad Bluetooth Gaming Controller for Smartphones and Tablets

Gaming on smartphones and tablets is increasingly popular, but the proliferation of stick-on joysticks would indicate that people miss the tactile feed back of a physical controller.? The iControlPad goes beyond a simple stick-on joystick and adds a full controller to your smartphone.? The controller has “dual analogue nubs, digital D-Pad, 6 face buttons and [...]

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Katy Perry Wraps New Video For Complete Confection Track

Pop singer hints that the new clip will play a part in her upcoming 3-D flick, 'Katy Perry: Part of Me.'
By Jocelyn Vena

Katy Perry
Photo: Getty Images

Katy Perry has some news for her Katy Cats. She just wrapped up production on a brand-spankin'-new music video. The singer tweeted about the shoot, teasing that the video will play some part in her forthcoming 3-D big-screen spectacle "Katy Perry: Part of Me," out in July.

"3rd long ass day of shooting ... the new music video!!!!! #workinggirl," she tweeted late Wednesday. "About to shoot one of the last scenes for the music video ... I have to pick a costume from the Cali Dreams Tour, which would u pick? #KP3D."

While she didn't specify for which track she was shooting the video, when she sat down with MTV News in March, she noted that she did have a video concept in mind for her Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection track "Wide Awake."

About to shoot one of the last scenes for the music video... I have to pick a costume from the Cali Dreams Tour, which would u pick? #KP3D

— Katy Perry (@katyperry) May 3, 2012

"I know exactly what that music video is. I know exactly who is directing it. I know the art direction, the people, the narrative," she explained. "And I had that idea while I was writing the song."

In the same interview, Perry talked about the dreamy breakup track. "Well, there were two songs that I had from Teenage Dream that I couldn't put on, it was 'Part of Me' and 'Dressing Up.' And then I knew we were doing the re-release and so I was like, 'I got to get in the studio,' because I can't wait eight months to be able to put out this feeling that I'm feeling right now," she said. " 'Cause God knows, it would take eight months to do another record. I couldn't do it on the fly, to set up records it takes time.

"So I was like, 'I'm getting into studio.' I had two days to write and I wrote it with my regular crew," she said of working with Dr. Luke, Max Martin and Bonnie McKee for the song. "Then I had two days to record. It was literally ... I submitted the lyrics before I submitted the music because it was by the hair of my chinny chin chin that I put that song on the record. But I have a film that's coming out in the summer that's like a concert documentary. Not only did I write the song because I needed to flush that out of my system, but I wrote it for the film as well."

Related Videos

• MTV First: Katy Perry's 'Part Of Me'

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WATCH: Bobby Brown Breaks Silence on Whitney's Death

Even though they had been divorced for six years by the time Whitney Houston passed away, Bobby Brown still holds her very close to his heart. In an interview that aired Wednesday morning on Today, the 43-year-old R&B singer opened up about his ex for the first time since her tragic Feb. 11 death.

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House Resolution Accuses Holder of Contempt (WSJ)

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Cornell students steer Pong using brain waves, can't quite play during naps (video)

We here at Engadget are always fans of brain wave experiments, and so we were delighted when two Cornell University electrical engineering students, Chuck Moyes and Mengxiang Jiang, wrapped up a final project using brain waves in the best way possible: playing Pong. Their experiment links a baseball cap full of EEG-scanning electrodes to a computer, letting the cap wearer control a paddle using Alpha or Mu waves. Depending on the waves you use, you can move the paddle either by changing your concentration level or by thinking about moving your feet. You won't rack up a high score while napping (or with a teammate narrating over your shoulder), but with a budget under $75, it's hard to find fault. You can grab the source code below, and check out a video of Jiang and Moyes' handiwork after the break.

[Thanks, Chuck and Mengxiang]

Continue reading Cornell students steer Pong using brain waves, can't quite play during naps (video)

Cornell students steer Pong using brain waves, can't quite play during naps (video) originally appeared on Engadget on Wed, 02 May 2012 15:19:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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ShopAndroid Daily Giveaway #62: Case-Mate Gelli Case for XOOM, HTC Capacitive Stylus & more

Today's ShopAndroid.com Daily Giveaway will feature the Case-Mate Gelli Case for Motorola XOOM, HTC Capacitive Stylus, Mobi Crystal Case for Galaxy Note, and the Seidio CONVERT Combo for Photon 4G.

After checking out our hands-on videos, drop us a comment and let us know which item you'd like for your Android device.  We'll select one lucky winner at random and announce them next week!

Case-Mate Gelli Case for Motorola XOOM

Using cutting-edge flexible thermoplastic material, the form fitting shape of the Case-Mate Gelli Case absorbs impacts and offers a soft grip. Geometric patterns and shapes create a sense of dimension and flair with the vibrant colors. Lighter and more resilient than silicone and rubber cases, the Gelli is a slim and sleek way to protect your Motorola Xoom.

read more

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